My Own Masterpiece...

Well, I might as well explain what I've been up to this past summer in terms of fitness...I began with a couple goals, 3 months, and a drive. My goals were to gain 10 lbs. of lean muscle mass and to be able to run 20 miles per week without hindering my weight gain. 3 months was how long I had to do it in. My drive was and is my desire to become the best I can be physically, to push my body to its absolute limit and achieve a greater output of the human body, my body.

In the beginning of the summer I could probably run 3-4 miles a couple of times a week, which compared to most people isn't too bad, but to my standards I was out of shape when it came to cardiovascular endurance. I was around 150 lbs. fluctuating 2-3 lbs. lower or higher. 5' 10", and all I have really done the past 2 years I've been in college was weight lift. It was time to push myself past my plateau, and I was determined.

I created a 7 day workout routine, in which I would lift 4 days in the week and run 3 days in the week. Only one of the running days was shorter than the others, to give my body rest. I thought it was difficult enough, but the first month I did not see much change, I decided to force myself to completely give it my all in the gym, every ounce of energy I had in every lift. I pushed myself on every run and even began running with my roommate (a long distance runner for my university and clocks around 90 miles a week).

Needless to say, It is now the end of summer and I am 160 lbs, fluctuating 2-3 lbs higher or lower, 9.85% body fat, still 5' 10", and I just finished a 7 mile run and finished 20 miles this week.

I am in college studying to be a physical therapist and personal trainer...

"I am my canvas, I am my clay, I am my own masterpiece..."

Stolen Revenge...

So, let's see... Where to start... Well! I finished my last class of the day around 9:40 PM and walked my bike with a friend of mine to our local grocery store and we parted ways as he had to walk home at that point. I went in, bought a gallon of milk, a thing of bananas, Veggie Burger patties (not vegetarian, I just find them extremely delicious), and a box of cereal...just enough to tie me over for breakfasts and such. I pay, I leave, I pack my backpack full of groceries and biked home. HOWEVER! I pass by a Mexican restaurant, where I see two bikes parked outside, not locked up... A man walked forward, crouched under the window of the restaurant, hopped onto one of the bikes and started to bike off of it. As my current job is security for the local police department, I see this as rather out of the ordinary. I start talking to the man to slow him down and ask him if the bike was his; "Yes," he replied. Of course it wasn't his! It was a girls bike and he just walked up to it! He then proceeded to bike as fast as he could down a side street. I immediately called the authorities.

Anyhow! As many of you guys know, or at least I assume you would know, the police questioned me about the incident, and I told them everything I saw: a detailed description, what the bike looked like, which direction he was headed in, etc. However, when the owner of the bike came out of this restaurant, she thought it was acceptable to keep her biked unlocked just to go in and pick up food. Now, you could argue: "Oh! that is okay, bikes don't get stolen THAT often." Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but this city this took place in, happen to have a very prevalent and high amount of cases of larceny and bike theft. So...Stupid Idea, but that doesn't make stealing it anymore justified. Just, stupid.

However, regardless if it was locked or not, I too had a bike stolen on a previous occasion, but mine on the other hand was locked up. So, to know I may have aided in the capture and arrest of a unlawful bike thief, I felt like I redeemed myself for my stolen bike.

 Sweet sweet Revenge...

Thoughts of an Adolescent - '08

Its weird how growing up you think back more and more and you miss the past rather than look forward to the future. For example, my friends and i all whipped out our old Pokemon games just to experience that childish obsession again. ha ha. As well as all our desire to go back into elementary school because of its easy, ignorant, childish point of view full of innocence. I guess we miss it sometimes because we cant handle life now or because we remember how easy and fun it was almost no stress. (this just in my opinion if you feel like bashing my opinion go have an unhappy childhood ha ha just kidding).

But Lately I've been thinking of my memories in elementary school, though a few years of those memories were of my parents fighting in the house over stupid and serious shit, later resulting in a separation then a divorce. It still was fond memories, memories i miss. Like the time my parents fought for hours on end, and i sat at the balcony of the staircase with my feet dangling between the banister columns and I'm just balling my eyes out cause i cant stand the fighting. My sister pretty much made my day by getting me out of the house, and walking our dog with me for like an hour or two. Than when we got back, more fighting, but we just took Cassie (our dog) and went in my room and watched two movies: beauty and the beast, and mirror has two faces. Though it seems rather childish to remember this and things. Its the most closest memory to my heart of my sister and i miss how my sisters always cheered me up or were there for me. (I was in 6th grade).

Though we live our lives now we end up missing what our lives used to be...but only somethings not all.

For me, As i want to go to college and get a good job and such. The anxiety of going to college is making me miss my friends, and sisters more than ever. Though for my sisters I'm actually moving closer to them than i am now, but the thought of "being on my own" doesn't thrill me, i cant be left alone. I live off of people's company. if you know me you should know that about me.

And knowing I am going to graduate and leave all my friends it depresses me because this group of friends means so much to me they don't even know how much. Whenever i think about graduation i get happy and sad. The sad part about it they seem to be like "Oh anon don't be such a baby you'll see us again" and "graduation is good don't feel bad or w.e" its stuff like that that i know sometimes they don't know how i feel. I love them so much. I rarely have close people to me, like to my heart. The only people truly close to my heart are my sisters and my father and mother. The friends i thought were close to me in the states aren't as much as i thought, and i lost contact with most of them and that made me disappointed.

The fact that I'm sad with graduating is because We may think we will see each other again and that we'll keep in contact and things. But I don't want to sound pessimistic but its the truth no matter how hard any of us try we will begin new lives and meet new people and end up losing contact with each other and that's what depresses me because my friends here mean so much to me i sometimes want to cry. They've helped me through most of my tough times, considering I've been through 2-3 years with these fools. And if any of them think i take their friendship for granted are fucking stupid. because i never want to lose contact or relations with them.

Going to Spain in the summer, is something i want to do so badly. But 95% chance i cant go. but I'm trying my hardest to make it a 94% just so i have a better chance to go. Because if i don't have that summer, that official party/good bye i might not see you all ever again. Even if i come back in winter, will we be tired of each other? will we have gained new friends and don't think of each other the same? I know i wont. But seeing every high school friendships like groups pretty much disperse and end and lose contact like 99% of them. It makes me not want to end high school. I love my friends.

The Pale Blue Dot

Something to think about...

Lets take a second shall we...a second to really look into the mirror. Find who we are and how we truly act. Now ask yourself are you a postive person? And if yes, good for you. And if no, ask yourself...why?


My one discouraging thing thats happening right now in my life is coming across people or listening to people say things that disregard things without knowledge or an open mind to make a judgement...Even though judgement over ANYTHING and ANYONE should never be made...its just not our place to.


I'm tired of hearing people being sad and not knowing what to do with themselves...look around theres more to do than you think on this earth...more to do than you can complete in one life time.


Tired of those who feel that saying things without other people's feelings in mind is "okay."


Tired of those people who feel the need to have all the facts or facts in general to believe something is true. That lack faith or trust in not only themselves but also in others.


Tired of close minded individuals the would rather believe what they want to believe or believe what the internet tells them rather than allowing themselves to experience it first hand or listen to others opinions without becoming hostile.


Tired of those who show utter negativity towards everything that is happening, needs to be done, requested to be done or towards people, towards attitude, and towards life itself.


Also, let me ask you... does the world require those that must lie about who they are or how they are for someone to accept them..for someone to like them? What becomes of that? wouldn't it just result in unhappiness and disatisfaction? so why do it? BE WHO YOU ARE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF AS YOURSELF.

Lucid Dreaming?

Lucid dreaming means dreaming while knowing that you are dreaming. The term was coined by Frederik van Eeden who used the word "lucid" in the sense of mental clarity. Lucidity usually begins in the midst of a dream when the dreamer realizes that the experience is not occurring in physical reality, but is a dream. Often this realization is triggered by the dreamer noticing some impossible or unlikely occurrence in the dream, such as flying or meeting the deceased. Sometimes people become lucid without noticing any particular clue in the dream; they just suddenly realize they are in a dream. A minority of lucid dreams (according to the research of LaBerge and colleagues, about 10 percent) are the result of returning to REM (dreaming) sleep directly from an awakening with unbroken reflective consciousness.

The basic definition of lucid dreaming requires nothing more than becoming aware that you are dreaming. However, the quality of lucidity can vary greatly. When lucidity is at a high level, you are aware that everything experienced in the dream is occurring in your mind, that there is no real danger, and that you are asleep in bed and will awaken shortly. With low-level lucidity you may be aware to a certain extent that you are dreaming, perhaps enough to fly or alter what you are doing, but not enough to realize that the people are dream representations, or that you can suffer no physical damage, or that you are actually in bed.

http://www.lucidity.com/LucidDreamingFAQ2.html#LD

Flips and Fat lips.

To those who are in to this sort of thing, I hope this inspires you. Enjoy.